and so it begins :)

Three days from now I’ll be all settled into my room at Bluffton, reunited with my friends and happy to be back on the campus that has become my home. It’s hard to believe summer is over and it’s time to move back to school…but I couldn’t be more excited! I never wanted to leave Bluffton in the first place!

So, in honor of the beginning of my sophomore year, I wanted to share some of my favorite pictures from spring semester of my freshman year! These people and these places have stolen my heart. :)

Campus from above :)

 

Centennial Hall…this is where the majority of classes are held!

One of my favorite pictures of campus! The Riley Creek and the library field, where most of the outdoor fun takes place :)

Adams Bridge leading to my dorm!

The stunning lake at our nature preserve!

Erin came to visit during the Riley Creek Fest!

Bethany & Erin in the bounce house!

Jake rode the bull. Oh yes, he did.

May Day. Epic tradition that involves dressing freshmen like this, tying them to a pole, and making them dance. Only at Bluffton.

And last but not least…my wonderful roomie and I!! She edited this picture….we are just THAT Bluffton spirited!!

As I look at these pictures, I can’t help but smile as I remember the memories I’ve already made at Bluffton and look forward to the adventures that await me this school year! I have no doubt that this school year is going to be incredible…I love what I am studying, I love where I am, and I love the people who are with me! I couldn’t ask for more!

Katie :)

meteors, stars, & love i don’t deserve.

Last night my dad and I decided to go outside and watch the meteor shower. We grabbed lawn chairs and headed out back. We spent about an hour sitting outside, staring into the night sky, watching for meteors. We saw three.

Three meteors.

Now, if I’m being honest, I was hoping for some sort of spectacular laser light show in the sky. Something like this:



Seriously. Three meteors in an hour.

This got me thinking. (doesn’t everything?) I started thinking about three things: creation, entitlement, and waiting.

Creation.

“Who alone does great wonders,
   for God’s steadfast love endures for ever;
who by understanding made the heavens,
   for God’s steadfast love endures for ever;
who spread out the earth on the waters,
    for God’s steadfast love endures for ever;
who made the great lights,
   for God’s steadfast love endures for ever;
the sun to rule over the day,
   for God’s steadfast love endures for ever;
the moon and stars to rule over the night,
   for God’s steadfast love endures for ever.”
-Psalm 136.4-9

I used to hate the word “creation.” In my mind, it was directly linked with literal creationism and nature, two things I have disliked for most of my life. But as I’ve studied scripture and other things at Bluffton, God as Creator has been at the core of much of what I’ve learned. I’ve come to terms with the fact that God as Creator is a powerful image of who God is, and that identity echoes true throughout scripture and history. In a strange turn of events (also known as my faith journey), as I have embraced God’s identity as Creator, I have embraced God’s creation. What can I say? God gets me every time.

So anyway, back to meteors. Last night, as I stared into the night sky and saw three tiny meteors, I couldn’t help but smile knowing that my God created those meteors. All three of them. And perhaps more notably, my God created ALL the other stars in the sky. Which leads to my next thought…

Entitlement.

God created every star in the sky. Yet as I sat there waiting to see the next meteor, I realized something: I was ignoring all the other stars.

According to this article, there are at least 70 sextillion stars in the known universe. I can’t even wrap my mind around that figure. But I’m so used to all those stars, the “usual” stars in the sky, that I found myself ignoring the beauty of the clear, star-filled night in my attempt to see the meteor shower. Then, when the “shower” only consisted of three meteors in an hour, I felt disappointed.

There is something seriously wrong with this picture. I think it boils down to the word “entitlement.” Somehow, my 19 years walking this earth has given me the idea that I “deserve” the regular stars. They are nothing special. They’ve been here forever. Why would I bother going outside to see that? But in reality, each night as the stars shine in the sky, that is a miracle…a spectacular work of art created and sustained by the beautiful, good, faithful God I love. When I look at these stars that have been shining since the beginning of time, I should be reminded of God and God’s love toward humanity that has been shining in my life and the lives of my ancestors since the beginning of time...love that none of us could ever deserve. I could never deserve God or any of the things of God. I could never deserve the redemptive love of Christ. I could never deserve the sustaining power of the Spirit. I could never deserve the 70 sextillion stars in the sky. How could I forget?

“Do you still not perceive or understand?
Are your hearts hardened?
Do you have eyes, and fail to see?
Do you have ears, and fail to hear?
And do you not remember?”
-Mark 8.17-18

Waiting.

“Be still, and know that I am God!
I am exalted among the nations,
   I am exalted in the earth.”
-Psalm 46.10

Earlier this summer, I was having a conversation about this passage with some friends. One of them said, “You know? I can’t remember the last time I was still and knew anything.”

I remembered that comment last night while we were watching the (lack of) meteor shower. If nothing else, I was still. And I was pretty sure I knew that God was God.

I started thinking about the meaning of this verse. First of all, being still- mind, body, and soul- is really hard to do. (at least for me!) And when I do manage to be still, usually I associate “knowing that [God] is God” with some sort of experience of God. My attempt at living out this passage usually goes something like this: “Okay, God. I’m still. Now that I’m still, how about if You stop being so still…let’s do this thing!”

But I think God has some different ideas. Sometimes, when we expect a fireworks display, God gives us three meteors in the course of an hour.

Isn’t that how God works? That’s why scripture tells us to be still and know that GOD is God…because if we were God, we’d get fireworks. But instead, we quiet our souls and wait, knowing that our God is God…

And we stand in awe of the meteors.

All three of them.

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

trailers, new friends, and a seminary i swore i’d never love: reflections on my time in Columbus

I had plans to spend a couple weeks on a mission trip this summer, but at the last minute some complex circumstances forced me to stay home. The circumstances surrounding this decision have profoundly impacted my faith and forced me to struggle with what it means to live that faith in broken places and situations. Broken is really an understatement. These circumstances have consumed my mind, my heart, my tears, and my prayers. I have so many unanswered questions.

Shortly after I made the decision to stay home, I got a phone call about an opportunity to serve on a mission team in Columbus, Ohio. This mission trip happened to start on the same day I had planned to leave. I had a feeling that God was up to something, so I started packing and two days later I headed down to Columbus.

The first few days of my trip were spent working on a mission team with some fabulous people from St. Paul’s and Monroe St. United Methodist churches in Toledo. I never would have imagined that I would make new friends in Toledo on a trip to Columbus, but that’s how God works! Our mission team served in Hispanic ministry at a trailer park. Half of the team put on a VBS for the kids at the trailer park, and half of the team built 12 new porches for families there. I helped with crafts at VBS, and it was lots of fun! Not only was this mission trip an opportunity to serve God & neighbor, it was also an opportunity to build relationships with wonderful people across the connection! Throughout the weekend, I had so many conversations and experiences that pushed me closer to the heart of God. I know God better because I had the opportunity to serve (and live!) alongside these great people for a few days, and that is a beautiful thing!

The second half of my trip to Columbus was spent visiting LOTS of my favorite United Methodists. I have so many wonderful friends and mentors who live in Columbus, and Annual Conference is usually the only time we have a chance to visit. But since I was in the Methodist center of the world (not really, it only feels like that), I planned to see them…ALL of them. I spent three entire days visiting, drinking coffee, sharing meals, worshiping, having great conversation…with too many people to count! It was wonderful. If you were one of the people who shared that time with me, thank you! Thank you for hospitality, for encouragement, for laughter! Thank you for engaging me in my call, for sharing in my journey, and for sharing your journey with me.

On my way home from Columbus, I stopped at Methodist Theological School in Ohio for a campus visit. My mom went to seminary at MTSO, so I’ve always sworn that I wouldn’t go there. (just like I always swore I wouldn’t go into ministry…) But I actually liked MTSO…a lot. Being on campus made me want to spend more time there. I think I would be very happy there, which probably cracks God up as much as it cracks me up. My seminary search is far from over, but for now I’ll just keep laughing and we’ll see what the future holds.

This trip to Columbus turned out to be the highlight of my summer. I wasn't even supposed to be in this country that week, let alone in the state. But from the moment I arrived in Columbus until the moment I left, I knew that I was exactly where God wanted me and exactly where I needed to be. It was perfect. And I guess that’s how God works...only God could transform a complex, painful mess into a perfect, beautiful week.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
-Isaiah 55.8-9

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

this is my new dawn.

As I'm writing this, I’m locked in the empty patio of our soon to be empty house sitting on the floor with three stressed animals. There’s a big red moving truck in the front yard and I can hear the sound of the movers loading our furniture into the truck. This is the sound of transition. I am watching everything change before my eyes.

And I’m feeling pretty good about that.

Last year this time, we moved away from everything I had ever known. Everyone I had ever loved. The only house I had ever called home. A sudden change of plans found my family moving into a rental house in a town nearby, and even though we didn’t know what was next, we knew it wouldn’t include staying here for more than a year. We moved into a house, but anticipating the next move, we didn’t even unpack everything. And we moved into a community knowing that we would be leaving it before we could really even settle in.

So today, a little less than a year later, I find myself leaving a house that was never home and saying goodbye to a community in which I have very few connections. These goodbyes are much easier, and in fact, there aren't many goodbyes at all. Last year, moving was an ending. The community that had loved and supported me for all my life helped move my family to the new house, and then they all left and went home...without us. I distinctly remember that moment. But this time around, moving is a new beginning. Today, I’m moving into a house that will become my home. I’m joining a community that doesn’t have an expiration date. And that changes everything. This time, there is a loving community waiting to welcome us with open arms- and they’re not leaving anytime soon!

Thanks be to God for new beginnings!

"Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself so that they might declare my praise."
-Isaiah 43.18-21

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

and we are yet alive.

This year’s Annual Conference was an extremely controversial one. If you haven’t heard the details, feel free to check out this article. I am intentionally writing about something other than the details and my opinions on the issue; the details have been rehashed a million times, and my opinions don’t matter nearly as much as the faith I share with the other 200,000+ United Methodists in this conference.So I’d like to write a little bit about that sharing part.

Division makes for pretty exciting news. So does controversy. So it isn't surprising that most of the blog entries and articles have highlighted the controversial, divisive aspects of what happened at Lakeside this year. But my experience that day was not limited to division and controversy. In fact, I left that afternoon with a much different word in mind…

Unity.

After the debate was finished, the votes were cast, and the results were announced, we sang the hymn “And Are We Yet Alive?” As we sang that hymn, from the front to the back of the auditorium, our conference joined hands and worshiped God together. It was the most spontaneous and beautiful act of worship I experienced all week. That moment could have been filled with many things: winners and losers, victory and defeat, us and them…but instead that moment was filled with God.

Just God.

Not our opinions. Not our disagreements. Not our politics.

God.

And for just a moment, God really, REALLY reigned in our conference.

Now, I’d be lying if I gave the impression that our conference is now enjoying a season of blissful unity. It's actually quite the opposite. This decision has caused and will continue to cause great controversy. We have a long road ahead of us, but let’s not forget that we’re in this together. We are not defined by what separates us, rather we are defined by what binds us together.

Call me crazy and naive, but I know that as we move forward, we are capable of living out God’s command to be one in Christ. I know because that day as we joined hands and worshiped God together, I saw a glimpse of God’s vision- for our conference and for the world. I saw a people whose love of God is greater than their disagreements and even dislikes of one another. I saw a church divided on an issue, yet united in worship of a God who transcends every wall we have built and every wall we could ever build.

As we journey together, let’s remember all that we share…

"I beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all."
-Ephesians 4.1-6

In Christ, we are yet alive.

Katie :)

worship: it’s a community thing

Nothing compares to singing a victorious hymn ("Lift High the Cross," anyone?) with a pipe organ and 3,000 of my favorite United Methodists. I can still hear the sound of our voices, united in spirit, worshiping our amazing God.

This year at Annual Conference, I went to the Celebration of Life & Ministry service for the first time. A better name for it might be the Memorial, Retirement, Commissioning, and Ordination service…but that would make it sound as long as it is. It really is the service to end all services. And it really is as long as it sounds. But it’s also an incredible opportunity to come together, affirm the ministry of lots of wonderful people, and worship our faithful God. That service ended up being one of my favorite memories of Annual Conference this year!

This year, the Celebration of Life & Ministry service was a significant experience for me for a couple reasons. First, one of my “second moms” was ordained! She actually entered the candidacy process with my mom as her mentor when my mom was pregnant with me. I’m 19. So ordination was a long time coming! It was SO exciting to be there for her ordination! This year, I also had a new perspective on ordination, knowing that God has called me to ordained ministry in the UMC. Even though I am at the very beginning of this long journey, it was so exciting to see the end goal and feel God gently reaffirming my call.

Another worship service that was especially meaningful to me this year was the morning worship service on Thursday, which included the fixing of the appointments. All I could do was praise God as we and many others were given new churches, new homes, new opportunities, and new communities. One of my favorite moments of this year’s Annual Conference was singing “Here I Am, Lord” after the fixing of the appointments. It was a picture perfect moment- celebrating a new season in my family’s life, recommitting to God’s call on my life, and worshiping God surrounded by the people whose love and support has carried me to the place I stand today.

I think that’s what worship is meant to be.

I’m more convinced than ever that the best worship happens in the context of community. As I look back on the memories I just shared from Annual Conference, my most powerful worship experiences of were profoundly impacted by the people with whom they were shared. That’s because worship is a community thing.

It’s possible alone.

But it’s beautiful together.

“Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.” –Acts 2.46-47

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

rock, paper, scissors, call.

Some of you who have been part of my faith journey in the past year know that since last Annual Conference, I answered a call to ordained ministry as a deacon in the UMC. For a few years I had known that I was called to spend my life in this church, but answering a call to ordained ministry was a huge step for me. As you can see, my life this year has been full of United Methodist warm fuzzies. But this year, I also fell in love with some Mennonites whose faith has challenged me deeply and shaped who I am becoming. Some people in my life are worried that I will end up being Mennonite, and others have promised they’ll still be my friend if I do. So what's up with this Mennonite stuff? I’d be lying if I said I’ve never entertained the idea of being a Mennonite. Do I think I’m called to ministry in the Mennonite Church? Not for a second. But does it sound like fun? Heck yes it does!

Going into Annual Conference this year, I was very aware of these dynamics. Before Annual Conference, I prayed that God would use Annual Conference to reignite my fire for the UMC. This doesn’t sound too bad, but if I’m being honest, what I really wanted was for God to make being a Mennonite seem like no fun at all and being a United Methodist seem like all the fun in the world. After all, that would make my life a whole lot easier. So, fast forward to the end of Annual Conference. As I looked back on the week, I felt like something was missing. I had enjoyed myself all week, but somehow I felt disappointed. I spent some time chatting with God about this, and I quickly realized that God didn't give me what I wanted at Annual Conference. Instead, God gave me what I needed.

God did confirm my call to ministry in the United Methodist Church. But instead of confirming my call with my desires, God confirmed my call in spite of my desires. God whispered gently, “You are called. Here. Don’t listen to your experiences or your desires. Only listen to me. Know who I am. Hear who I say you are. Let me teach you to see your church as I do- not as it is, but as it can be.” God didn’t answer my prayer the way I would’ve liked. But God answered my prayer in the way I needed. One might say that I’m stuck in the United Methodist Church, but I prefer to use the word “called” instead of “stuck.” (after all, isn't being called just a more holy, beautiful, fun version of being stuck?)  In one conversation this week, a pastor encouraged me by saying, “You’ll ask yourself for a while if you really want to be United Methodist, but you’ll eventually realize it’s who you are.” In the core of my being, I know that who I am and who I am called to be is United Methodist. Sometimes, I still ask myself if that's who I want to be. But the good news is that when call and want collide, there is always a clear winner.

It’s kind of like rock, paper, scissors.

Call > want.

Always.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” –Isaiah 55.8-9

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

annual conference!

I spent the past week in Lakeside, Ohio at West Ohio Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church. This was my 20th year at Annual Conference and my 4th year serving as an at-large delegate representing my district. Kudos if you’re not UM and you’ve made it this far! In non-Methodist speak, I spent the past week with about 3,000 other United Methodists from churches in West Ohio worshiping together, debating and voting on legislation and nominations, hearing reports about the ministry and business happening in West Ohio and around the world, and generally having a spectacular time. It’s always such a great week of fun and fellowship…every year I look forward to reconnecting with my favorite United Methodists and meeting lots of new ones!

Every year I’ve been a delegate, Annual Conference has been significant week in my life. This year was no exception. Quite honestly, this year’s Annual Conference was nothing like I had expected or hoped. But it turned out to be a week filled with the Spirit of God and incredible fellowship with lots of people I love! I have so many reflections on different moments and experiences throughout the week, some theological, some personal, and some just plain fun. Throughout the next few days, I’ll be posting some of those reflections. Stay tuned! :)

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

it’s a new season…it’s a new day :)

Two weekends ago, spring semester ended and I moved home from Bluffton. I did stick around for May Day and Graduation, though, and I'm so glad I did! It was a beautiful weekend filled with friends and laughter and tears and conversation and worship and everything I’ve come to love about the Bluffton community. After graduation, as I stood in the middle of the football field saying goodbye to seniors, friends, and professors, I realized that just six months ago, I didn’t even know that Bluffton existed. But from the moment I stepped on campus, the Bluffton community has welcomed me with open arms and in just six months it has become such a part of me! I am thankful for this spring- it was an unexpected, life-changing, beautiful, unforgettable season in my life…thanks be to God!

But now, it’s a new season…summer is here! I am so excited for everything God has in store for summer 2010! Everyone is asking me, “What are you doing this summer?” and the answer to that question is more of a list than a one-word answer for me. My summer really kicks off in two weeks with West Ohio Annual Conference, where I will serve as a delegate. Conference is always one of the best weeks of my year…this will be my 20th year at Lakeside for Annual Conference and my 4th year as a delegate. It’s an incredible week of fun, fellowship, worship, meetings, politics, and a lot of ice cream…United Methodism at its very best! The rest of June will be spent packing, moving, and settling into a new home, as my family is moving to a new church and new town at the end of June. I’m so excited to settle back into a parsonage, although I never thought I’d say that, and I’m excited to spend time investing in this new church and community! Once we settle into our new home, at the end of July I’m headed to Mexico where I will spend two weeks serving at the Casa de Misericordia UM orphanage. This will be my fourth trip to the Casa…I can’t wait! I will return from Mexico just in time to spend a few more weeks at home and head back to school in the fall! And in addition to the events of my summer, I’m also taking on a few different projects and goals…but I think I’ll save those for another blog! ;)

As you can see, this summer of 2010 is going to be a busy one! I trust that this season, like the last, will be an exciting season of growth and joy in my faith journey!

Pray peace. Make peace. Live peace.

Katie :)

And everything has changed.

It’s finals week here at Bluffton. I am three presentations away from finishing my freshman year of college. I am four days away from moving home for the summer. Tomorrow I have two presentations in Spanish and one presentation to the administration for my Restorative Justice class. I’ll be spending Friday with my friends relaxing and doing all the things we said we wanted to do before summer but haven’t done yet…including, but not limited to, a walk to the Whippy Dip for ice cream and a movie at the Shannon…and maybe a trip to Chipotle. Saturday is May Day, which is a big deal around here from what I’ve gathered. And Sunday is baccalaureate and commencement, which I’m going to since I know (and love!) SO many seniors here. I could be moving home tomorrow when I finish my exams, but I’m sticking around for as long as possible. I’m not ready for my freshman year to be over…I’m not ready for spring semester to be over…and I’m certainly not ready to leave Bluffton! I love this place and the people here SO much!

It’s amazing how much has changed this year. Most of all, it’s amazing how much I have changed. I had an interesting conversation today during a meeting with one of my professors. I’ve been known to call myself crazy for the decisions I make…decisions to push myself harder than most people would choose to…decisions to do my best when good would be more than sufficient…and decisions to follow God and my passions even when that isn’t easy or logical. We were talking about this and about my Bluffton journey so far, and she said something that surprised me; she told me that I’m not crazy...what I am is a very motivated person who is willing to try new things and adjust to God’s leading. The first part didn’t come as a surprise…I’m motivated so much that it can be a weakness sometimes. But the second part, about being willing to try new things and adjust to God’s leading, really struck me. I have always been someone who prefers to make plans and be in control, but God has changed me so much in the past year. This change was evidenced by my professor’s words…she described me in a way I would never have described myself because she sees the person I am today, not the person I used to be. A year ago, my plans were set in stone…and they were impressive plans. But God had other plans…good plans. This year I learned to take risks, trust God, and let go of the plans I had carefully made...and those were not easy lessons! Before that conversation today, I knew that God had taught me new lessons this year. What I didn’t realize was that this year I have done more than learn lessons, I have become a new person in Christ.

Thank You, God, for this amazing place and for incredible professors who recognize who I have become in You even before I do!

"So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!"
-2 Corinthians 5.17

Pray peace. Make peace. Live peace.

Katie :)