why hello there week 12.

This semester is flying by. Part of me is excited to get it behind me, but another part of me is sad to see it coming to a close. This has been an intense semester, both inside and outside the classroom. Classes have stretched me more this semester than ever before; they have challenged me academically, but more than that they have challenged the way I understand and relate to the world. I can confidently say that I have learned and grown more this semester than I ever could have imagined, but it definitely hasn’t been easy! And I know that I’ve learned far more than I realize at this point, still in the middle of the hectic push toward the finish line. Outside of classes, life has been quite the rollercoaster this semester. I have hardly had the chance to have a “normal” few weeks without a crisis of some sort, which has made it difficult to concentrate at times. But in spite of it all, on this Monday night of week 12, I am still alive and pressing on. Next week is Thanksgiving Break, followed by weeks 14, 15, and finals. It’s hard to believe we only have two more weeks of classes after this week!

So, besides classes (which are in and of themselves great opportunities), this semester I’ve had some pretty incredible opportunities and experiences. First, I went to a conference called Israel/Palestine: Pathways to Peace, which was a great opportunity to learn more about peacemaking efforts in the Middle East. Then, I went on a silence & solitude retreat for my Spiritual Disciplines class, which turned out to be a lot more enjoyable than I had anticipated! And my last two weekends have been filled with training: first, I went through Module II Hispanic ministry training, so now I am a certified lay missioner for Hispanic ministry in the UMC! And this past weekend I finished my mediation training at Bluffton, which means I can start co-mediating cases for my mediation certification. All of these things have been awesome, but they’ve made for busy weekends (aka no weekends at all)! And this weekend I am headed to GA with PEACE Club for a nonviolent demonstration. Then…home for Thanksgiving!

So, here’s to peace and protests and turkeys and theology and huge papers and friends and everything else that will fill the pages of my life for the next few weeks!



Peace.

Katie :)

it’s a beautiful bluffton life :)

I am in the middle of a crazy semester. Actually, I’m just past the middle…and it’s flying by. It’s hard to believe that sophomore year at Bluffton is 1/4 over…it feels like we just moved back to campus! But time flies when you’re having fun (or in the library…or both), and we’ve definitely been having fun. Here’s some proof:

    
It has been a fantastic year so far. But it has been a deeper form of fantastic than pictures can capture…filled with so much learning, reflecting, discussing, and hoping in a community that never ceases to amaze, surprise, and encourage me.

So…here’s to blogging again. Here’s to reflecting on life’s experiences both inside and outside the classroom that are changing who I am and how I see the world. Here’s to the beautiful Bluffton life! :)

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

reflections on "The Spirit of the Disciplines" chapters 5-7

This week, I would like to reflect on a few different parts of chapters 5-7 of Dallas Willard’s The Spirit of the Disciplines. As I have spent more time with this text, it has become increasingly clear that Willard’s theology is very different from my own. My experience with this text has been frustrating and rewarding, and it seems like with every page comes a new reaction, question, or frustration. This journal is a reflection of those experiences— the good, the bad, and everything in between.

I really struggle with Willard’s definition of spirituality in chapter five. I would agree with his statement that “spirituality is a matter of another reality,” but in the next sentence he goes on to say that “[spirituality] is not a ‘commitment’ and it is not a ‘lifestyle’” (67). For me, what makes spirituality another reality is the fact that it is a commitment and is a lifestyle. I view faith and spirituality as a commitment, not in addition to all of my other commitments…but as the one commitment that supersedes all others. Some synonyms for commitment are loyalty, pledge, promise, and dedication. For me, spirituality is all of these things. Spirituality creates space for me to live into an alternate reality only when spirituality is a commitment— my highest loyalty. The second thing Willard says that spirituality is not is a lifestyle (67). This seems like a complete contradiction to chapter three, which is entitled, “Salvation Is a Life” (28). If salvation is a way of life, and our way of life is to reflect our salvation, then spirituality is a lifestyle. Willard goes on to say that though spirituality is not a commitment or a lifestyle, “a commitment and lifestyle will come from it” (67). I would argue that a commitment and lifestyle are not simply results of spirituality; these things are the essence of spirituality.

Willard also asserts that spirituality is “not a social or political stance” and that “the essence and aim of spirituality is not to correct social and political injustices” (67). He goes on to say that while “[correcting injustices] will be its effect…that is not its use” (67). For me, the alternate reality in which spirituality enables us to live is an inherently social and political one. As for the social aspect of spirituality, Willard himself says in chapter seven that “the new life in Christ…is a life of the whole embodied person in the social context” (111). It is difficult for me to understand how it is possible for an “embodied” spiritual life “in the social context” to be separate from a “social stance” (Willard 67, 111). As for the political nature of spirituality, I would argue that our faith commitment is a political stance. In his book He Came Preaching Peace, John Howard Yoder illustrates the political implications of citizenship in God’s Kingdom: “This new nation, the people of God, is the Christian’s first loyalty. No political nation, no geographic homeland to which one belongs by birth, can take precedence over the heavenly citizenship of a Christian in one’s new birth” (23). Spirituality— living a life according to one’s faith commitment— is as political as pledging allegiance to the flag of any nation. Last but not least, this idea that spirituality will result in, but should not be used for, the correction of injustices, is a difficult one for me to grasp. This is partly because I understand spirituality to be a whole life endeavor and partly because of my understanding of Christ’s life as a political one. Christ consistently and unapologetically confronted situations of oppression and injustice (Matt. 21.12-13) and we are called to do the same. For me, confronting and correcting injustices cannot be separated from spirituality.

So, in conclusion, I would like to express my appreciation for this text. In this journal it may seem like I disagree with everything Willard has to say, but this is not really the case. There are also many things I agree with, but journaling about the things in the book that I struggle with helps me better understand my own theology in light of Willard’s. I value this opportunity to read and engage a text written by an author whose theology stands in contrast to my own.

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

reflections on “The Spirit of the Disciplines” ch. 1-3

This week as I have read from The Spirit of the Disciplines, I have found myself laying a foundation for my understanding of the spiritual disciplines. In chapter one, Willard explains that the secret of the “easy yoke” is passionately living one’s faith in one’s WHOLE life, not just in parts (10). To expand on this principle, Willard explained that the goal of spiritual disciplines and spirituality in general is to become so much like Christ that Christ-like actions and decisions come naturally to us (9). I was struck by this concept: “True Christlikeness comes at the point where it is hard not to respond as [Christ] would” (8). Here, Willard is basically saying that the point of following Christ is not to arrive at a point in our lives where acting like Christ is a viable option; the point of following Christ is to arrive at a point in our lives where acting like Christ is the only option. This radical view of discipleship has caused me to ask different questions about where I am on my faith journey. Instead of asking if I am willing and ready to follow Christ, this view forces me to ask if I am willing and ready to do anything BUT follow Christ. If there are still other options besides Christ’s way in my life, I have missed the point of following Christ in the first place.

In the second chapter of The Spirit of the Disciplines, Willard stressed the importance of intentional, planned discipleship with the goal of transformation. One point that seemed especially harsh, yet true, was that claiming to follow Christ but doing so without a plan is no better than intentionally planning not to follow Christ (9). This is true in our personal lives, but it is also true in our life together in Christian community. Willard stressed the importance of being intentional about the spiritual disciplines both in our personal lives and in our churches. If our churches do not have set plans for discipleship, complete with means to measure the success or failure of these efforts, Willard says that we have failed to embody the second half of the Great Commission (15). Furthermore, Willard says that if faithful, regular attendees of our churches are not transformed by the ministry, we have failed these individuals (18). Unfortunately, by these measures, many of our churches today are failing. In my personal context, this language of transformation caught my eye, as “transformation” is part of the mission statement of the United Methodist Church. Our mission statement is to “make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.” It seems to me that perhaps my church’s mission statement is missing the second half of the Great Commission, or as Willard might say, perhaps we are making the “great omission” (15). We strive to make disciples for the purpose of transforming the world, but Willard stresses the importance of also transforming the disciples and “teaching them to obey everything that [Christ has] commanded [us]” (Matthew 28.20 NRSV). I would argue that the United Methodist Church is not failing to do this all together, but it is interesting to think about why we chose to emphasize the transformation of the world while omitting the transformation of the people in our congregations. Perhaps it is assumed…one can hope!

In the third chapter, Willard discussed salvation as a life and not simply as forgiveness of sins (33). This topic is one that is rather familiar to me, as this summer I read the book Shalom: The Bible’s Word for Salvation, Justice, and Peace by Perry Yoder. This book discussed in detail the biblical understanding of the word “shalom,” and in exploring this concept focused extensively on the concept of salvation as a physical, material, social, and political reality. Willard also noted this concept, emphasizing that salvation in Scripture is understood to be the “translation” into God’s Kingdom, here and now (40). He described life in God’s present Kingdom as “[living] in a different world” (37). One of the words that Yoder used in Shalom to describe this change from the world to God’s Kingdom was “transfer.” This word really resonated with me, as I have experienced a “transfer” in my life when I left ONU to come to Bluffton. For me, the word “transfer” brings up memories of a time of abrupt, radical change in my life not only from one school to another, but from one world to another. The atmosphere, the philosophy of education, the values, the faculty, the expectations…absolutely everything imaginable turned out to be completely different at Bluffton. My head was spinning for my first few weeks on campus, and it took me about half the semester to adjust to this new way of life and education. As I reflect on the idea of salvation as a “transfer” into God’s Kingdom, these memories and experiences that I associate with the word “transfer” inform my understanding of salvation. Just as transferring to Bluffton was a life-changing adventure for me, so salvation is the life-altering “transfer” into God’s Kingdom, here and now.

warning: academics ahead

So, classes start Monday. My blog will most likely reflect this (fantastic, long awaited) change in a few different ways. I just wanted to take a moment to give you all fair warning.

First of all, I’d like to point out my little bookshelf on the right side of this page. The books on my shelf are my textbooks for this semester, and it’s likely that I will be referencing them and/or quoting them in my blogs this semester.

Next, several of my classes require me to write journal entries and submit them online. Obviously, some of this will be more interesting than others. But there is a good possibility that I will post some of my journal entries on here.

In classes that don’t have journals as a requirement, and possibly even for those that do, I plan to use this blog to share quotes and reflect on the things I am learning in class…and outside of class, for that matter. And on that note, here comes the first textbook quote:

“The ultimate goal of biblical exegesis is not information but transformation. True exegesis is accomplished only when individuals and communities engage in the embodiment of the text.”
-Michael Gorman, Elements of Biblical Exegesis

See, this idea of “information” versus “transformation” really resonates with me, in my context as a student here at Bluffton. I came from a university with a strong focus on information. When I transferred to Bluffton, my whole life started changing…and it hasn’t stopped. At Bluffton, who we are becoming matters far more than where we are going. Character is valued over success. Education is about transforming, not just informing. That makes more difference than I can express in words.

But obviously, this quote is about more than the unique, world-class education offered at Bluffton University. It’s about biblical exegesis! One of my classes this semester is Old Testament Exegetical Studies: Wisdom Literature. So, I get to dive into exegesis this semester! I can’t wait to spend huge amounts of time engaging scripture in this incredible community. You will no doubt hear a LOT about this over the next 15 weeks.

I can’t wait to see what God has in store for this semester. I can’t wait to see what God is going to teach me both inside and outside the classroom, through professors and friends, through books and late night conversations. Education by transformation blurs the lines between education and life. I can’t tell you where my classes end and my life begins…where homework ends and discipleship begins…

And that’s a beautiful thing.



Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

great in your midst

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been back at Bluffton for two days already! I moved back onto campus on Tuesday, which was a rather warm experience both in terms of temperature and welcome! And I spent the past two days at the fall retreat for Bluffton’s Leadership Development Program. Basically, campus student leaders and student life faculty spend a couple days together at our nature preserve. Tomorrow the new students (first years and transfers) move in, followed by returning students on Saturday and Sunday! My amazing roommate returns home to campus on Saturday, so I am REALLY looking forward to that day! :) The weekend is filled with all kinds of welcome back activities, and classes start Monday! I am also really looking forward to that day!

So, how has my sophomore year been so far? Pretty fantastic. If this is any indication of what is to come, it’s going to be an incredible year. Being on campus four days earlier than most everyone I hang out with has been a great opportunity to get to know new people and turn acquaintances into friends. The LDP retreat was time well spent. It was very Bluffton…full of community and joy and fun and God and growth and laughter! We played lots of community-building (and just plain fun) games, learned how to understand and use our God-given gifts and strengths, and worshiped together. The first day was mostly ice-breakers and introduction to the leadership material we covered, followed by a bonfire, singing, smores, and a night hike! I’m not much of a hiker, but I decided to go on the night hike simply because the nature preserve closes at dusk, so it was my one chance to see it in the dark! One of the most memorable parts of the hike was crossing the giant swinging bridge over the creek in the pitch dark with about 50 other people, most of whom were JUMPING! It was terrifying! But since I survived, it’s one of those epic college memories! We also got to see the nature preserve lake with the super bright moon glowing in the sky, which was stunning! And last but not least, we got to make fireworks in our mouths with lifesaver mints. (quote: "this is the only time in your lives that you'll be asked to chew with your mouth really wide open while someone else looks in!") If you’ve never tried this, you really should. It was so much fun!

Then today we went more in-depth with our training on gifts and strengths-based leadership, played lots more games, sang crazy songs, put on skits about life at Bluffton, did guided meditation with our dean, and spent time brainstorming and planning for our organizations. My favorite part of the day was this crazy game called “It’s A What?” Basically, it is a game where tons of people sit in a circle and pass items around the circle in rhythm, telling one neighbor what the item is while listening to see what the next item is at well. I realize this sounds ridiculous and like no fun at all, but it is absolutely hilarious. And guided meditation was pretty cool too…different than what I’m used to, but it was a good experience!

Throughout the retreat, I couldn’t help but think about how unique Bluffton is. There is something so wonderful about being at a college where it is normal and expected for faculty and students to spend time getting to know one another, worshiping God together, and sharing lots and lots of laughter! I love this place so much because it’s a Kingdom community….a community where who we are together is greater than who we could be alone. A community that pushes me to do and think and become things I could never have imagined. A community in which God lives and breathes.

“Sing praises to God, for God has done gloriously; let this be known in all the earth. Shout aloud and sing for joy, O royal Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel.”
–Isaiah 12.5-6

Great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel.

God is here.

Katie :)

and so it begins :)

Three days from now I’ll be all settled into my room at Bluffton, reunited with my friends and happy to be back on the campus that has become my home. It’s hard to believe summer is over and it’s time to move back to school…but I couldn’t be more excited! I never wanted to leave Bluffton in the first place!

So, in honor of the beginning of my sophomore year, I wanted to share some of my favorite pictures from spring semester of my freshman year! These people and these places have stolen my heart. :)

Campus from above :)

 

Centennial Hall…this is where the majority of classes are held!

One of my favorite pictures of campus! The Riley Creek and the library field, where most of the outdoor fun takes place :)

Adams Bridge leading to my dorm!

The stunning lake at our nature preserve!

Erin came to visit during the Riley Creek Fest!

Bethany & Erin in the bounce house!

Jake rode the bull. Oh yes, he did.

May Day. Epic tradition that involves dressing freshmen like this, tying them to a pole, and making them dance. Only at Bluffton.

And last but not least…my wonderful roomie and I!! She edited this picture….we are just THAT Bluffton spirited!!

As I look at these pictures, I can’t help but smile as I remember the memories I’ve already made at Bluffton and look forward to the adventures that await me this school year! I have no doubt that this school year is going to be incredible…I love what I am studying, I love where I am, and I love the people who are with me! I couldn’t ask for more!

Katie :)

meteors, stars, & love i don’t deserve.

Last night my dad and I decided to go outside and watch the meteor shower. We grabbed lawn chairs and headed out back. We spent about an hour sitting outside, staring into the night sky, watching for meteors. We saw three.

Three meteors.

Now, if I’m being honest, I was hoping for some sort of spectacular laser light show in the sky. Something like this:



Seriously. Three meteors in an hour.

This got me thinking. (doesn’t everything?) I started thinking about three things: creation, entitlement, and waiting.

Creation.

“Who alone does great wonders,
   for God’s steadfast love endures for ever;
who by understanding made the heavens,
   for God’s steadfast love endures for ever;
who spread out the earth on the waters,
    for God’s steadfast love endures for ever;
who made the great lights,
   for God’s steadfast love endures for ever;
the sun to rule over the day,
   for God’s steadfast love endures for ever;
the moon and stars to rule over the night,
   for God’s steadfast love endures for ever.”
-Psalm 136.4-9

I used to hate the word “creation.” In my mind, it was directly linked with literal creationism and nature, two things I have disliked for most of my life. But as I’ve studied scripture and other things at Bluffton, God as Creator has been at the core of much of what I’ve learned. I’ve come to terms with the fact that God as Creator is a powerful image of who God is, and that identity echoes true throughout scripture and history. In a strange turn of events (also known as my faith journey), as I have embraced God’s identity as Creator, I have embraced God’s creation. What can I say? God gets me every time.

So anyway, back to meteors. Last night, as I stared into the night sky and saw three tiny meteors, I couldn’t help but smile knowing that my God created those meteors. All three of them. And perhaps more notably, my God created ALL the other stars in the sky. Which leads to my next thought…

Entitlement.

God created every star in the sky. Yet as I sat there waiting to see the next meteor, I realized something: I was ignoring all the other stars.

According to this article, there are at least 70 sextillion stars in the known universe. I can’t even wrap my mind around that figure. But I’m so used to all those stars, the “usual” stars in the sky, that I found myself ignoring the beauty of the clear, star-filled night in my attempt to see the meteor shower. Then, when the “shower” only consisted of three meteors in an hour, I felt disappointed.

There is something seriously wrong with this picture. I think it boils down to the word “entitlement.” Somehow, my 19 years walking this earth has given me the idea that I “deserve” the regular stars. They are nothing special. They’ve been here forever. Why would I bother going outside to see that? But in reality, each night as the stars shine in the sky, that is a miracle…a spectacular work of art created and sustained by the beautiful, good, faithful God I love. When I look at these stars that have been shining since the beginning of time, I should be reminded of God and God’s love toward humanity that has been shining in my life and the lives of my ancestors since the beginning of time...love that none of us could ever deserve. I could never deserve God or any of the things of God. I could never deserve the redemptive love of Christ. I could never deserve the sustaining power of the Spirit. I could never deserve the 70 sextillion stars in the sky. How could I forget?

“Do you still not perceive or understand?
Are your hearts hardened?
Do you have eyes, and fail to see?
Do you have ears, and fail to hear?
And do you not remember?”
-Mark 8.17-18

Waiting.

“Be still, and know that I am God!
I am exalted among the nations,
   I am exalted in the earth.”
-Psalm 46.10

Earlier this summer, I was having a conversation about this passage with some friends. One of them said, “You know? I can’t remember the last time I was still and knew anything.”

I remembered that comment last night while we were watching the (lack of) meteor shower. If nothing else, I was still. And I was pretty sure I knew that God was God.

I started thinking about the meaning of this verse. First of all, being still- mind, body, and soul- is really hard to do. (at least for me!) And when I do manage to be still, usually I associate “knowing that [God] is God” with some sort of experience of God. My attempt at living out this passage usually goes something like this: “Okay, God. I’m still. Now that I’m still, how about if You stop being so still…let’s do this thing!”

But I think God has some different ideas. Sometimes, when we expect a fireworks display, God gives us three meteors in the course of an hour.

Isn’t that how God works? That’s why scripture tells us to be still and know that GOD is God…because if we were God, we’d get fireworks. But instead, we quiet our souls and wait, knowing that our God is God…

And we stand in awe of the meteors.

All three of them.

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

trailers, new friends, and a seminary i swore i’d never love: reflections on my time in Columbus

I had plans to spend a couple weeks on a mission trip this summer, but at the last minute some complex circumstances forced me to stay home. The circumstances surrounding this decision have profoundly impacted my faith and forced me to struggle with what it means to live that faith in broken places and situations. Broken is really an understatement. These circumstances have consumed my mind, my heart, my tears, and my prayers. I have so many unanswered questions.

Shortly after I made the decision to stay home, I got a phone call about an opportunity to serve on a mission team in Columbus, Ohio. This mission trip happened to start on the same day I had planned to leave. I had a feeling that God was up to something, so I started packing and two days later I headed down to Columbus.

The first few days of my trip were spent working on a mission team with some fabulous people from St. Paul’s and Monroe St. United Methodist churches in Toledo. I never would have imagined that I would make new friends in Toledo on a trip to Columbus, but that’s how God works! Our mission team served in Hispanic ministry at a trailer park. Half of the team put on a VBS for the kids at the trailer park, and half of the team built 12 new porches for families there. I helped with crafts at VBS, and it was lots of fun! Not only was this mission trip an opportunity to serve God & neighbor, it was also an opportunity to build relationships with wonderful people across the connection! Throughout the weekend, I had so many conversations and experiences that pushed me closer to the heart of God. I know God better because I had the opportunity to serve (and live!) alongside these great people for a few days, and that is a beautiful thing!

The second half of my trip to Columbus was spent visiting LOTS of my favorite United Methodists. I have so many wonderful friends and mentors who live in Columbus, and Annual Conference is usually the only time we have a chance to visit. But since I was in the Methodist center of the world (not really, it only feels like that), I planned to see them…ALL of them. I spent three entire days visiting, drinking coffee, sharing meals, worshiping, having great conversation…with too many people to count! It was wonderful. If you were one of the people who shared that time with me, thank you! Thank you for hospitality, for encouragement, for laughter! Thank you for engaging me in my call, for sharing in my journey, and for sharing your journey with me.

On my way home from Columbus, I stopped at Methodist Theological School in Ohio for a campus visit. My mom went to seminary at MTSO, so I’ve always sworn that I wouldn’t go there. (just like I always swore I wouldn’t go into ministry…) But I actually liked MTSO…a lot. Being on campus made me want to spend more time there. I think I would be very happy there, which probably cracks God up as much as it cracks me up. My seminary search is far from over, but for now I’ll just keep laughing and we’ll see what the future holds.

This trip to Columbus turned out to be the highlight of my summer. I wasn't even supposed to be in this country that week, let alone in the state. But from the moment I arrived in Columbus until the moment I left, I knew that I was exactly where God wanted me and exactly where I needed to be. It was perfect. And I guess that’s how God works...only God could transform a complex, painful mess into a perfect, beautiful week.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
-Isaiah 55.8-9

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

musings of a united methodist young adult: part one

I’m a rare breed: a 19 year old active member of the United Methodist Church. The membership statistics of the UMC are alarming: nearly 50% of our members are over 60 years old, while only 5% are in the age bracket of 18-24. I’m a member of the coveted “young adult” age group. The church can’t seem to figure out what to do with me, but they know they can't do without me, so they attempt to figure me out. Research is done and articles are written about me. I’m studied, discussed, and charted. But I have to be honest: sometimes it feels like my church is more concerned with keeping me where I am than knowing who I am. By relying on statistics to decode the mystery of young adults, the UMC has overlooked its greatest resource…young adults.

I've read countless articles about how to get young adults into the UMC and how to keep us here. But very rarely have I been engaged in discussion about this issue by members and leaders of my church. Some of the articles have been excellent, others not so much. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter how inspiring or accurate an article is…a great article is no substitute for a human being. If you want to understand the needs of young adults in the church, get to know the young adults in your local church. If there aren't any young adults in your local church (or even if there are!), get to know young adults across the connection! We are living, breathing resources. The ministry of the United Methodist Church has infused our lives with the grace of God and shaped our faith journey every step of the way. Ask us about the role the church has played in our lives and the role we hope it will play in the future. Ask us about the vision that God has given us for the future of this great church. Ask us what we love this church for, and what we love this church in spite of. Ask us to explain our worship preferences, and ask us what we think we’ll be singing in 20 years. Ask us what the sacraments mean to us, and ask us how scripture has guided the course of our lives. Ask us what it means to be United Methodist, and ask us what questions we have about our tradition. Ask us who God is and who God says we are. Ask us anything.

We are more than a statistic.

We are an untapped resource.

We have been placed in the United Methodist Church for such a time as this.

Use us.

Pray peace. Make peace. Live peace.

Katie :)

this is my new dawn.

As I'm writing this, I’m locked in the empty patio of our soon to be empty house sitting on the floor with three stressed animals. There’s a big red moving truck in the front yard and I can hear the sound of the movers loading our furniture into the truck. This is the sound of transition. I am watching everything change before my eyes.

And I’m feeling pretty good about that.

Last year this time, we moved away from everything I had ever known. Everyone I had ever loved. The only house I had ever called home. A sudden change of plans found my family moving into a rental house in a town nearby, and even though we didn’t know what was next, we knew it wouldn’t include staying here for more than a year. We moved into a house, but anticipating the next move, we didn’t even unpack everything. And we moved into a community knowing that we would be leaving it before we could really even settle in.

So today, a little less than a year later, I find myself leaving a house that was never home and saying goodbye to a community in which I have very few connections. These goodbyes are much easier, and in fact, there aren't many goodbyes at all. Last year, moving was an ending. The community that had loved and supported me for all my life helped move my family to the new house, and then they all left and went home...without us. I distinctly remember that moment. But this time around, moving is a new beginning. Today, I’m moving into a house that will become my home. I’m joining a community that doesn’t have an expiration date. And that changes everything. This time, there is a loving community waiting to welcome us with open arms- and they’re not leaving anytime soon!

Thanks be to God for new beginnings!

"Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself so that they might declare my praise."
-Isaiah 43.18-21

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

and we are yet alive.

This year’s Annual Conference was an extremely controversial one. If you haven’t heard the details, feel free to check out this article. I am intentionally writing about something other than the details and my opinions on the issue; the details have been rehashed a million times, and my opinions don’t matter nearly as much as the faith I share with the other 200,000+ United Methodists in this conference.So I’d like to write a little bit about that sharing part.

Division makes for pretty exciting news. So does controversy. So it isn't surprising that most of the blog entries and articles have highlighted the controversial, divisive aspects of what happened at Lakeside this year. But my experience that day was not limited to division and controversy. In fact, I left that afternoon with a much different word in mind…

Unity.

After the debate was finished, the votes were cast, and the results were announced, we sang the hymn “And Are We Yet Alive?” As we sang that hymn, from the front to the back of the auditorium, our conference joined hands and worshiped God together. It was the most spontaneous and beautiful act of worship I experienced all week. That moment could have been filled with many things: winners and losers, victory and defeat, us and them…but instead that moment was filled with God.

Just God.

Not our opinions. Not our disagreements. Not our politics.

God.

And for just a moment, God really, REALLY reigned in our conference.

Now, I’d be lying if I gave the impression that our conference is now enjoying a season of blissful unity. It's actually quite the opposite. This decision has caused and will continue to cause great controversy. We have a long road ahead of us, but let’s not forget that we’re in this together. We are not defined by what separates us, rather we are defined by what binds us together.

Call me crazy and naive, but I know that as we move forward, we are capable of living out God’s command to be one in Christ. I know because that day as we joined hands and worshiped God together, I saw a glimpse of God’s vision- for our conference and for the world. I saw a people whose love of God is greater than their disagreements and even dislikes of one another. I saw a church divided on an issue, yet united in worship of a God who transcends every wall we have built and every wall we could ever build.

As we journey together, let’s remember all that we share…

"I beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all."
-Ephesians 4.1-6

In Christ, we are yet alive.

Katie :)

worship: it’s a community thing

Nothing compares to singing a victorious hymn ("Lift High the Cross," anyone?) with a pipe organ and 3,000 of my favorite United Methodists. I can still hear the sound of our voices, united in spirit, worshiping our amazing God.

This year at Annual Conference, I went to the Celebration of Life & Ministry service for the first time. A better name for it might be the Memorial, Retirement, Commissioning, and Ordination service…but that would make it sound as long as it is. It really is the service to end all services. And it really is as long as it sounds. But it’s also an incredible opportunity to come together, affirm the ministry of lots of wonderful people, and worship our faithful God. That service ended up being one of my favorite memories of Annual Conference this year!

This year, the Celebration of Life & Ministry service was a significant experience for me for a couple reasons. First, one of my “second moms” was ordained! She actually entered the candidacy process with my mom as her mentor when my mom was pregnant with me. I’m 19. So ordination was a long time coming! It was SO exciting to be there for her ordination! This year, I also had a new perspective on ordination, knowing that God has called me to ordained ministry in the UMC. Even though I am at the very beginning of this long journey, it was so exciting to see the end goal and feel God gently reaffirming my call.

Another worship service that was especially meaningful to me this year was the morning worship service on Thursday, which included the fixing of the appointments. All I could do was praise God as we and many others were given new churches, new homes, new opportunities, and new communities. One of my favorite moments of this year’s Annual Conference was singing “Here I Am, Lord” after the fixing of the appointments. It was a picture perfect moment- celebrating a new season in my family’s life, recommitting to God’s call on my life, and worshiping God surrounded by the people whose love and support has carried me to the place I stand today.

I think that’s what worship is meant to be.

I’m more convinced than ever that the best worship happens in the context of community. As I look back on the memories I just shared from Annual Conference, my most powerful worship experiences of were profoundly impacted by the people with whom they were shared. That’s because worship is a community thing.

It’s possible alone.

But it’s beautiful together.

“Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.” –Acts 2.46-47

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

rock, paper, scissors, call.

Some of you who have been part of my faith journey in the past year know that since last Annual Conference, I answered a call to ordained ministry as a deacon in the UMC. For a few years I had known that I was called to spend my life in this church, but answering a call to ordained ministry was a huge step for me. As you can see, my life this year has been full of United Methodist warm fuzzies. But this year, I also fell in love with some Mennonites whose faith has challenged me deeply and shaped who I am becoming. Some people in my life are worried that I will end up being Mennonite, and others have promised they’ll still be my friend if I do. So what's up with this Mennonite stuff? I’d be lying if I said I’ve never entertained the idea of being a Mennonite. Do I think I’m called to ministry in the Mennonite Church? Not for a second. But does it sound like fun? Heck yes it does!

Going into Annual Conference this year, I was very aware of these dynamics. Before Annual Conference, I prayed that God would use Annual Conference to reignite my fire for the UMC. This doesn’t sound too bad, but if I’m being honest, what I really wanted was for God to make being a Mennonite seem like no fun at all and being a United Methodist seem like all the fun in the world. After all, that would make my life a whole lot easier. So, fast forward to the end of Annual Conference. As I looked back on the week, I felt like something was missing. I had enjoyed myself all week, but somehow I felt disappointed. I spent some time chatting with God about this, and I quickly realized that God didn't give me what I wanted at Annual Conference. Instead, God gave me what I needed.

God did confirm my call to ministry in the United Methodist Church. But instead of confirming my call with my desires, God confirmed my call in spite of my desires. God whispered gently, “You are called. Here. Don’t listen to your experiences or your desires. Only listen to me. Know who I am. Hear who I say you are. Let me teach you to see your church as I do- not as it is, but as it can be.” God didn’t answer my prayer the way I would’ve liked. But God answered my prayer in the way I needed. One might say that I’m stuck in the United Methodist Church, but I prefer to use the word “called” instead of “stuck.” (after all, isn't being called just a more holy, beautiful, fun version of being stuck?)  In one conversation this week, a pastor encouraged me by saying, “You’ll ask yourself for a while if you really want to be United Methodist, but you’ll eventually realize it’s who you are.” In the core of my being, I know that who I am and who I am called to be is United Methodist. Sometimes, I still ask myself if that's who I want to be. But the good news is that when call and want collide, there is always a clear winner.

It’s kind of like rock, paper, scissors.

Call > want.

Always.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” –Isaiah 55.8-9

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

annual conference!

I spent the past week in Lakeside, Ohio at West Ohio Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church. This was my 20th year at Annual Conference and my 4th year serving as an at-large delegate representing my district. Kudos if you’re not UM and you’ve made it this far! In non-Methodist speak, I spent the past week with about 3,000 other United Methodists from churches in West Ohio worshiping together, debating and voting on legislation and nominations, hearing reports about the ministry and business happening in West Ohio and around the world, and generally having a spectacular time. It’s always such a great week of fun and fellowship…every year I look forward to reconnecting with my favorite United Methodists and meeting lots of new ones!

Every year I’ve been a delegate, Annual Conference has been significant week in my life. This year was no exception. Quite honestly, this year’s Annual Conference was nothing like I had expected or hoped. But it turned out to be a week filled with the Spirit of God and incredible fellowship with lots of people I love! I have so many reflections on different moments and experiences throughout the week, some theological, some personal, and some just plain fun. Throughout the next few days, I’ll be posting some of those reflections. Stay tuned! :)

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

politics and faith, empire and kingdom

The other day I changed my “political views” on facebook from “liberal” to “changing.” One of my good friends who has always known me as a “crazy liberal Methodist” wrote on my wall, inquiring about these changes. The following discussion ensued, and I think it's worth sharing...unedited, unscripted thoughts on politics and faith, empire and kingdom:

---

Him: YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS ARE CHANGING?!?!?!? ARE YOU COMING OVER TO THE DARK SIDE WITH ME?!?!?!?!

Me: Bahahaha! I love this. No, they are not changing to Republican! They are changing a lot...being more influenced by my faith commitment yet becoming very much secondary to my faith commitment...and I am still figuring out what that means :)

Him: aaah gotcha. dont worry. that car of yours will soon be the palin-mobile instead of the obama-mobile. lol.

Me: Ohhhh my goodness. Not so much. I'm typing this message to you from a room complete with two Obama posters. ;) I think more than anything, I've come to a place where I have trouble labeling myself...and I'm more convinced than ever that I don't fit into any political party at all. War has really messed that up for me. Heck, I'm not even as Methodist as I was six months ago...trust me...Bluffton has really messed with me! And by the way, I'm feeling fine....great even!

Him: wow its a new katie! so are you like a religiously based independent?

Me: Well, I think that makes it sound like I'm pushing my religious beliefs onto others through my political beliefs...which it something I try not to do. I would say that I am a person who tries to act faithfully in the Kingdom of God and that is my first allegiance...of course, I'm also a person with strong political views. Where I am right now is the place where some of my political and religious views have come into conflict (for example, war)...and I'm figuring out how to act faithfully in those areas of conflict. Sometimes I think that means no political action, but sometimes it means a lot of political action. But my faith commitment should always come first, and that political action should never go against my faith commitment. It's an issue of consistency...I've found myself living alongside some amazing people this semester whose lives are meaningfully consistent...there isn't a disconnect between their political and religious beliefs, and there isn't a disconnect between what they believe and how they live...they embody their beliefs, political and religious and otherwise, and it's pretty incredible. So I've been inspired and challenged by them to strive for a level of consistency and integrity that I wouldn't have believed was possible if I hadn't seen it lived out.

---

May we never figure out our beliefs.

Instead, may we live them out.
Together.

Katie :)

beloved

I discovered this song today. It's incredible. Check it out! :)



Know that you are loved :)

Katie

America has no more stars, now we call them idols.

I’m writing this as I watch this year’s American Idol finale. I was a huge fan of the show when I was younger, but I haven’t watched it for the last few seasons. This year, one of the contestants comes from my area, so it’s been a BIG deal around here. Each night on the news, American Idol takes center stage with performance recaps and updates about local events corresponding with the show. Some churches hosted “idol parties” each week, which were broadcasted live on the news after American Idol. The idea of a church hosting an “idol party” seems a bit ironic, no? Each night, the live broadcast would show a room full of people screaming at the top of their lungs as if their lives depended on it, cheering on this contestant from their hometown. I couldn’t help but wonder if these people got this excited for worship on Sunday morning. Now, I’m all for people supporting a local, talented, deserving individual. But what happens when that excitement overshadows the excitement we have for our God? When does the word “idol” become something more than the name of a TV show?

There isn’t an easy answer to that question. And honestly, this has nothing to do with American Idol and everything to do with the things that fight for our loyalties every single day. These are questions we are meant to wrestle with, and the answers are meant to shape who we are becoming in Christ. God commands us to have no other gods before God [Exodus 20.3], but “before” can also be translated as “besides.” It seems like the command to have no gods “before” God could essentially mean that as long as God is FIRST in our lives, whatever is second and third and fourth doesn’t really matter. But if we understand this word as “besides,” the message changes quite a bit, doesn’t it? What does it mean to have no gods besides God? I think this sums it up well: “The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.” [Deuteronomy 6.4] We can be sure of two things: First, we ALL have things in our lives that fight for our allegiances. Second, in the moments when we get it right and love God with our WHOLE heart, there won’t be room for anything else!

Pray peace. Make peace. Live peace.

Katie :)

it’s a new season…it’s a new day :)

Two weekends ago, spring semester ended and I moved home from Bluffton. I did stick around for May Day and Graduation, though, and I'm so glad I did! It was a beautiful weekend filled with friends and laughter and tears and conversation and worship and everything I’ve come to love about the Bluffton community. After graduation, as I stood in the middle of the football field saying goodbye to seniors, friends, and professors, I realized that just six months ago, I didn’t even know that Bluffton existed. But from the moment I stepped on campus, the Bluffton community has welcomed me with open arms and in just six months it has become such a part of me! I am thankful for this spring- it was an unexpected, life-changing, beautiful, unforgettable season in my life…thanks be to God!

But now, it’s a new season…summer is here! I am so excited for everything God has in store for summer 2010! Everyone is asking me, “What are you doing this summer?” and the answer to that question is more of a list than a one-word answer for me. My summer really kicks off in two weeks with West Ohio Annual Conference, where I will serve as a delegate. Conference is always one of the best weeks of my year…this will be my 20th year at Lakeside for Annual Conference and my 4th year as a delegate. It’s an incredible week of fun, fellowship, worship, meetings, politics, and a lot of ice cream…United Methodism at its very best! The rest of June will be spent packing, moving, and settling into a new home, as my family is moving to a new church and new town at the end of June. I’m so excited to settle back into a parsonage, although I never thought I’d say that, and I’m excited to spend time investing in this new church and community! Once we settle into our new home, at the end of July I’m headed to Mexico where I will spend two weeks serving at the Casa de Misericordia UM orphanage. This will be my fourth trip to the Casa…I can’t wait! I will return from Mexico just in time to spend a few more weeks at home and head back to school in the fall! And in addition to the events of my summer, I’m also taking on a few different projects and goals…but I think I’ll save those for another blog! ;)

As you can see, this summer of 2010 is going to be a busy one! I trust that this season, like the last, will be an exciting season of growth and joy in my faith journey!

Pray peace. Make peace. Live peace.

Katie :)

And everything has changed.

It’s finals week here at Bluffton. I am three presentations away from finishing my freshman year of college. I am four days away from moving home for the summer. Tomorrow I have two presentations in Spanish and one presentation to the administration for my Restorative Justice class. I’ll be spending Friday with my friends relaxing and doing all the things we said we wanted to do before summer but haven’t done yet…including, but not limited to, a walk to the Whippy Dip for ice cream and a movie at the Shannon…and maybe a trip to Chipotle. Saturday is May Day, which is a big deal around here from what I’ve gathered. And Sunday is baccalaureate and commencement, which I’m going to since I know (and love!) SO many seniors here. I could be moving home tomorrow when I finish my exams, but I’m sticking around for as long as possible. I’m not ready for my freshman year to be over…I’m not ready for spring semester to be over…and I’m certainly not ready to leave Bluffton! I love this place and the people here SO much!

It’s amazing how much has changed this year. Most of all, it’s amazing how much I have changed. I had an interesting conversation today during a meeting with one of my professors. I’ve been known to call myself crazy for the decisions I make…decisions to push myself harder than most people would choose to…decisions to do my best when good would be more than sufficient…and decisions to follow God and my passions even when that isn’t easy or logical. We were talking about this and about my Bluffton journey so far, and she said something that surprised me; she told me that I’m not crazy...what I am is a very motivated person who is willing to try new things and adjust to God’s leading. The first part didn’t come as a surprise…I’m motivated so much that it can be a weakness sometimes. But the second part, about being willing to try new things and adjust to God’s leading, really struck me. I have always been someone who prefers to make plans and be in control, but God has changed me so much in the past year. This change was evidenced by my professor’s words…she described me in a way I would never have described myself because she sees the person I am today, not the person I used to be. A year ago, my plans were set in stone…and they were impressive plans. But God had other plans…good plans. This year I learned to take risks, trust God, and let go of the plans I had carefully made...and those were not easy lessons! Before that conversation today, I knew that God had taught me new lessons this year. What I didn’t realize was that this year I have done more than learn lessons, I have become a new person in Christ.

Thank You, God, for this amazing place and for incredible professors who recognize who I have become in You even before I do!

"So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!"
-2 Corinthians 5.17

Pray peace. Make peace. Live peace.

Katie :)

Desperate.

I rediscovered Phil Joel today, and was reminded why I LOVE his music. Anyway, I heard the lyrics to the song "Desperate" and couldn't help but smile...this is without a doubt my 2009-2010 theme song. :)

Lord, thank You for these days
Lord, thank You for these days
This has been the most trying year
Of testing and refining here
And I wouldn't have it any other way
Lord, thank You for these days
And I will always choose to praise You

Lord, thank You for this place
Lord, thank You for Your grace
There is mercy in the midst of tests
An oasis in this wilderness
And Your light to lead my way
Lord, thank You for this place
And I will always choose to praise You

And I wanna stay
Desperate
I will remain
Desperate
For You

Lord I thank You for this rain
Healing waters when there's pain
There are rivers of Your providence
Surrounding our obedience
In Your faithfulness, I put my faith
So Lord I thank You for this rain
And I will always choose to praise You

Pray☮Make☮Live☮

Katie :)

one beautiful spring night :)

Tonight, the weather was perfect. Instead of doing homework, we decided to play outside. Great life decision. I love our campus now that it’s getting green; it was covered in snow when I visited and when I moved here! These are some of the pretty pictures we took on our adventures! :)

Flowers along the Riley Creek.

Adams Bridge & Ropp Hall, our soon to be home! :)

The Riley & the library field...our beautiful, spacious front yard!

Trees. Sun. You know.

College Hall.

Life is beautiful. :)

Have a fabulous week!

Week 13. Thursday.

It’s Thursday of week 13 of the spring semester here at Bluffton. To most people today is just another day, but it’s kind of a big deal to me. I withdrew from ONU on Wednesday of my 13th week there. So Thursday of week 13 at Bluffton means that I’ve officially been here for longer than I was at ONU. I’ve been intentional this week about remembering the journey that led me here, thanking God for this place, and reflecting on how these 13 weeks at Bluffton have shaped who I am and who I hope to become. It’s amazing, really, when I take time to think and pray and reflect…God is so faithful. But in a way, it’s strange to compare this week 13 to the last one. Week 13 at ONU was the end of what, at the time, felt like some sort of huge mistake. On this Thursday of week 13 at Bluffton, I have a completely different perspective. I know these 13 weeks are only the beginning of what God has in store for me here.

I remember a few conversations I had while I was home over Christmas before I moved to Bluffton. They went something like this: “Well, I just hope Bluffton is what you’re looking for. You know, no place is perfect. I just hope it doesn't disappoint you.” These conversations frustrated me at the time, but I know these people love me and were concerned about what seemed to them like a quick decision that I might regret later. It was a quick decision. And it’s true; no place is perfect. But the trick isn’t finding a perfect place...the trick is finding the perfect place for you. And thanks be to God, these 13 weeks have been exactly what I was looking for. My time here has surpassed my greatest expectations. And Bluffton isn’t perfect, but it’s the perfect place for me!

So thanks, God, for a week 13 marked by beginnings instead of endings. And thanks for second chances!

“Remember the long way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, in order to humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commandments. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land with flowing streams, with springs and underground waters welling up in valleys and hills, where you will lack nothing.”
–Deuteronomy 8.2,7-8

Katie :)

it’s week 12?!

How did that happen?! It seems impossible that we only have three more weeks of classes left this semester, and even more impossible that I’ve been at Bluffton for three months already! But hey, time flies when you’re having the time of your life! Summer is just around the corner, and I’m not ready…I’m not ready for the seniors to graduate…I’m not ready for my friends to study abroad in the fall…I’m not ready to pack up and leave this campus and this community for the summer. But I guess I’m in luck, because I have four more weeks to spend here before summertime rolls around!

So, I have a little dilemma with this blog. Mostly, I am terrible at updating it. I want to post about the meaningful events of life, but I get busy actually participating in them and by the time I think about writing, I have no idea where to start! So…from this point forward, I’m going to try to update this blog once a week, no matter how meaningful or exciting the news might be. (we'll see how that goes..)

So what’s been happening for the past six weeks in my life? (this is the part where I have no idea where to start) Here’s a rundown…

I was the student assistant for the Beyond Borders Conference at Bluffton. I learned that air conditioning is kind of a big deal when it’s hot outside. I declared a major in Biblical Studies. I played frisbee with friends instead of writing a paper. I attended the International Conference on Conflict Resolution Education. I ate cereal out of a cup…for dinner. I went through intensive Hispanic Ministry training. I wore flip-flops outside in the snow. I registered for fall classes. I prayed and worshiped alongside professors and friends. I laughed...a lot. I was introduced to my new home where I’ll be moving this June. I learned about the epic sport of tennis golf. I got my financial aid package for next year and was reminded that the price of my education here is nothing compared to its value. I saw our campus with grass instead of snow for the first time. I ate pancakes with people I love in the town that will always be my home. I was chased by a cat…inside my dorm. I had conversations with friends and professors that stretched my understanding of peace, justice, and God’s Kingdom. I did homework…I even enjoyed homework. But most of all, I treasured every moment spent living in this community that is changing my life.

There are lots of exciting things coming up in these next few weeks and months, and I hope I will be better about updating this blog and sharing them with you all!

Live in peace. Live for peace.

Katie :)

Beautiful Ending

There’s this song that I listened to all the time while I was at ONU. It’s by BarlowGirl and it’s called “Beautiful Ending.” It really resonated with me as I transitioned into college and didn’t find the “beautiful ending” that I expected. I could relate to the chorus, begging God to promise a beautiful ending even if the rest of the story didn’t make sense yet. The chorus goes like this:

“So tell me, what is our ending? Will it be beautiful? So beautiful? Will my life find me by Your side? Your love is beautiful. So beautiful.”

The answer is yes.

God has led me and is leading me every single day to my beautiful ending. The path to this place was not the one I expected, nor was it one that I would have willingly chosen, but it was the only perfect path. What felt and looked like nothing more than huge mistake turned out to be a necessary and valuable chapter of God’s perfect plan. God is so faithful.

I’ve been at Bluffton now for six weeks. I’ve made a million memories and have so many stories to tell, but I’ll save that for another day. However, I will say this: these six weeks have transformed my life and completely changed how I view education. Bluffton is an incredible and unique place to live and learn. In fact, you can’t really separate one from the other: living and learning goes hand in hand here like I have never experienced before. I couldn’t tell you where school ends and life begins. My classes ARE my passions and my dreams. My professors double as mentors and friends. God is in my homework, and my homework glorifies my God. My school has become my community. My school has become my home.
Every single day, I thank God for leading me to Bluffton. I appreciate this place more because I remember the journey that brought me here. There have been so many moments when I have paused and realized that by the grace of God, I am exactly who and where I was created to be. By the grace of God, my beautiful ending found me.

“Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning. You have turned my mourning into dancing; You have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, so that my soul may praise You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.” –Psalm 30: 5, 11-12