this is my new dawn.

As I'm writing this, I’m locked in the empty patio of our soon to be empty house sitting on the floor with three stressed animals. There’s a big red moving truck in the front yard and I can hear the sound of the movers loading our furniture into the truck. This is the sound of transition. I am watching everything change before my eyes.

And I’m feeling pretty good about that.

Last year this time, we moved away from everything I had ever known. Everyone I had ever loved. The only house I had ever called home. A sudden change of plans found my family moving into a rental house in a town nearby, and even though we didn’t know what was next, we knew it wouldn’t include staying here for more than a year. We moved into a house, but anticipating the next move, we didn’t even unpack everything. And we moved into a community knowing that we would be leaving it before we could really even settle in.

So today, a little less than a year later, I find myself leaving a house that was never home and saying goodbye to a community in which I have very few connections. These goodbyes are much easier, and in fact, there aren't many goodbyes at all. Last year, moving was an ending. The community that had loved and supported me for all my life helped move my family to the new house, and then they all left and went home...without us. I distinctly remember that moment. But this time around, moving is a new beginning. Today, I’m moving into a house that will become my home. I’m joining a community that doesn’t have an expiration date. And that changes everything. This time, there is a loving community waiting to welcome us with open arms- and they’re not leaving anytime soon!

Thanks be to God for new beginnings!

"Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself so that they might declare my praise."
-Isaiah 43.18-21

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

and we are yet alive.

This year’s Annual Conference was an extremely controversial one. If you haven’t heard the details, feel free to check out this article. I am intentionally writing about something other than the details and my opinions on the issue; the details have been rehashed a million times, and my opinions don’t matter nearly as much as the faith I share with the other 200,000+ United Methodists in this conference.So I’d like to write a little bit about that sharing part.

Division makes for pretty exciting news. So does controversy. So it isn't surprising that most of the blog entries and articles have highlighted the controversial, divisive aspects of what happened at Lakeside this year. But my experience that day was not limited to division and controversy. In fact, I left that afternoon with a much different word in mind…

Unity.

After the debate was finished, the votes were cast, and the results were announced, we sang the hymn “And Are We Yet Alive?” As we sang that hymn, from the front to the back of the auditorium, our conference joined hands and worshiped God together. It was the most spontaneous and beautiful act of worship I experienced all week. That moment could have been filled with many things: winners and losers, victory and defeat, us and them…but instead that moment was filled with God.

Just God.

Not our opinions. Not our disagreements. Not our politics.

God.

And for just a moment, God really, REALLY reigned in our conference.

Now, I’d be lying if I gave the impression that our conference is now enjoying a season of blissful unity. It's actually quite the opposite. This decision has caused and will continue to cause great controversy. We have a long road ahead of us, but let’s not forget that we’re in this together. We are not defined by what separates us, rather we are defined by what binds us together.

Call me crazy and naive, but I know that as we move forward, we are capable of living out God’s command to be one in Christ. I know because that day as we joined hands and worshiped God together, I saw a glimpse of God’s vision- for our conference and for the world. I saw a people whose love of God is greater than their disagreements and even dislikes of one another. I saw a church divided on an issue, yet united in worship of a God who transcends every wall we have built and every wall we could ever build.

As we journey together, let’s remember all that we share…

"I beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all."
-Ephesians 4.1-6

In Christ, we are yet alive.

Katie :)

worship: it’s a community thing

Nothing compares to singing a victorious hymn ("Lift High the Cross," anyone?) with a pipe organ and 3,000 of my favorite United Methodists. I can still hear the sound of our voices, united in spirit, worshiping our amazing God.

This year at Annual Conference, I went to the Celebration of Life & Ministry service for the first time. A better name for it might be the Memorial, Retirement, Commissioning, and Ordination service…but that would make it sound as long as it is. It really is the service to end all services. And it really is as long as it sounds. But it’s also an incredible opportunity to come together, affirm the ministry of lots of wonderful people, and worship our faithful God. That service ended up being one of my favorite memories of Annual Conference this year!

This year, the Celebration of Life & Ministry service was a significant experience for me for a couple reasons. First, one of my “second moms” was ordained! She actually entered the candidacy process with my mom as her mentor when my mom was pregnant with me. I’m 19. So ordination was a long time coming! It was SO exciting to be there for her ordination! This year, I also had a new perspective on ordination, knowing that God has called me to ordained ministry in the UMC. Even though I am at the very beginning of this long journey, it was so exciting to see the end goal and feel God gently reaffirming my call.

Another worship service that was especially meaningful to me this year was the morning worship service on Thursday, which included the fixing of the appointments. All I could do was praise God as we and many others were given new churches, new homes, new opportunities, and new communities. One of my favorite moments of this year’s Annual Conference was singing “Here I Am, Lord” after the fixing of the appointments. It was a picture perfect moment- celebrating a new season in my family’s life, recommitting to God’s call on my life, and worshiping God surrounded by the people whose love and support has carried me to the place I stand today.

I think that’s what worship is meant to be.

I’m more convinced than ever that the best worship happens in the context of community. As I look back on the memories I just shared from Annual Conference, my most powerful worship experiences of were profoundly impacted by the people with whom they were shared. That’s because worship is a community thing.

It’s possible alone.

But it’s beautiful together.

“Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.” –Acts 2.46-47

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

rock, paper, scissors, call.

Some of you who have been part of my faith journey in the past year know that since last Annual Conference, I answered a call to ordained ministry as a deacon in the UMC. For a few years I had known that I was called to spend my life in this church, but answering a call to ordained ministry was a huge step for me. As you can see, my life this year has been full of United Methodist warm fuzzies. But this year, I also fell in love with some Mennonites whose faith has challenged me deeply and shaped who I am becoming. Some people in my life are worried that I will end up being Mennonite, and others have promised they’ll still be my friend if I do. So what's up with this Mennonite stuff? I’d be lying if I said I’ve never entertained the idea of being a Mennonite. Do I think I’m called to ministry in the Mennonite Church? Not for a second. But does it sound like fun? Heck yes it does!

Going into Annual Conference this year, I was very aware of these dynamics. Before Annual Conference, I prayed that God would use Annual Conference to reignite my fire for the UMC. This doesn’t sound too bad, but if I’m being honest, what I really wanted was for God to make being a Mennonite seem like no fun at all and being a United Methodist seem like all the fun in the world. After all, that would make my life a whole lot easier. So, fast forward to the end of Annual Conference. As I looked back on the week, I felt like something was missing. I had enjoyed myself all week, but somehow I felt disappointed. I spent some time chatting with God about this, and I quickly realized that God didn't give me what I wanted at Annual Conference. Instead, God gave me what I needed.

God did confirm my call to ministry in the United Methodist Church. But instead of confirming my call with my desires, God confirmed my call in spite of my desires. God whispered gently, “You are called. Here. Don’t listen to your experiences or your desires. Only listen to me. Know who I am. Hear who I say you are. Let me teach you to see your church as I do- not as it is, but as it can be.” God didn’t answer my prayer the way I would’ve liked. But God answered my prayer in the way I needed. One might say that I’m stuck in the United Methodist Church, but I prefer to use the word “called” instead of “stuck.” (after all, isn't being called just a more holy, beautiful, fun version of being stuck?)  In one conversation this week, a pastor encouraged me by saying, “You’ll ask yourself for a while if you really want to be United Methodist, but you’ll eventually realize it’s who you are.” In the core of my being, I know that who I am and who I am called to be is United Methodist. Sometimes, I still ask myself if that's who I want to be. But the good news is that when call and want collide, there is always a clear winner.

It’s kind of like rock, paper, scissors.

Call > want.

Always.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” –Isaiah 55.8-9

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

annual conference!

I spent the past week in Lakeside, Ohio at West Ohio Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church. This was my 20th year at Annual Conference and my 4th year serving as an at-large delegate representing my district. Kudos if you’re not UM and you’ve made it this far! In non-Methodist speak, I spent the past week with about 3,000 other United Methodists from churches in West Ohio worshiping together, debating and voting on legislation and nominations, hearing reports about the ministry and business happening in West Ohio and around the world, and generally having a spectacular time. It’s always such a great week of fun and fellowship…every year I look forward to reconnecting with my favorite United Methodists and meeting lots of new ones!

Every year I’ve been a delegate, Annual Conference has been significant week in my life. This year was no exception. Quite honestly, this year’s Annual Conference was nothing like I had expected or hoped. But it turned out to be a week filled with the Spirit of God and incredible fellowship with lots of people I love! I have so many reflections on different moments and experiences throughout the week, some theological, some personal, and some just plain fun. Throughout the next few days, I’ll be posting some of those reflections. Stay tuned! :)

Pray Peace. Make Peace. Live Peace.

Katie :)

politics and faith, empire and kingdom

The other day I changed my “political views” on facebook from “liberal” to “changing.” One of my good friends who has always known me as a “crazy liberal Methodist” wrote on my wall, inquiring about these changes. The following discussion ensued, and I think it's worth sharing...unedited, unscripted thoughts on politics and faith, empire and kingdom:

---

Him: YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS ARE CHANGING?!?!?!? ARE YOU COMING OVER TO THE DARK SIDE WITH ME?!?!?!?!

Me: Bahahaha! I love this. No, they are not changing to Republican! They are changing a lot...being more influenced by my faith commitment yet becoming very much secondary to my faith commitment...and I am still figuring out what that means :)

Him: aaah gotcha. dont worry. that car of yours will soon be the palin-mobile instead of the obama-mobile. lol.

Me: Ohhhh my goodness. Not so much. I'm typing this message to you from a room complete with two Obama posters. ;) I think more than anything, I've come to a place where I have trouble labeling myself...and I'm more convinced than ever that I don't fit into any political party at all. War has really messed that up for me. Heck, I'm not even as Methodist as I was six months ago...trust me...Bluffton has really messed with me! And by the way, I'm feeling fine....great even!

Him: wow its a new katie! so are you like a religiously based independent?

Me: Well, I think that makes it sound like I'm pushing my religious beliefs onto others through my political beliefs...which it something I try not to do. I would say that I am a person who tries to act faithfully in the Kingdom of God and that is my first allegiance...of course, I'm also a person with strong political views. Where I am right now is the place where some of my political and religious views have come into conflict (for example, war)...and I'm figuring out how to act faithfully in those areas of conflict. Sometimes I think that means no political action, but sometimes it means a lot of political action. But my faith commitment should always come first, and that political action should never go against my faith commitment. It's an issue of consistency...I've found myself living alongside some amazing people this semester whose lives are meaningfully consistent...there isn't a disconnect between their political and religious beliefs, and there isn't a disconnect between what they believe and how they live...they embody their beliefs, political and religious and otherwise, and it's pretty incredible. So I've been inspired and challenged by them to strive for a level of consistency and integrity that I wouldn't have believed was possible if I hadn't seen it lived out.

---

May we never figure out our beliefs.

Instead, may we live them out.
Together.

Katie :)

beloved

I discovered this song today. It's incredible. Check it out! :)



Know that you are loved :)

Katie

America has no more stars, now we call them idols.

I’m writing this as I watch this year’s American Idol finale. I was a huge fan of the show when I was younger, but I haven’t watched it for the last few seasons. This year, one of the contestants comes from my area, so it’s been a BIG deal around here. Each night on the news, American Idol takes center stage with performance recaps and updates about local events corresponding with the show. Some churches hosted “idol parties” each week, which were broadcasted live on the news after American Idol. The idea of a church hosting an “idol party” seems a bit ironic, no? Each night, the live broadcast would show a room full of people screaming at the top of their lungs as if their lives depended on it, cheering on this contestant from their hometown. I couldn’t help but wonder if these people got this excited for worship on Sunday morning. Now, I’m all for people supporting a local, talented, deserving individual. But what happens when that excitement overshadows the excitement we have for our God? When does the word “idol” become something more than the name of a TV show?

There isn’t an easy answer to that question. And honestly, this has nothing to do with American Idol and everything to do with the things that fight for our loyalties every single day. These are questions we are meant to wrestle with, and the answers are meant to shape who we are becoming in Christ. God commands us to have no other gods before God [Exodus 20.3], but “before” can also be translated as “besides.” It seems like the command to have no gods “before” God could essentially mean that as long as God is FIRST in our lives, whatever is second and third and fourth doesn’t really matter. But if we understand this word as “besides,” the message changes quite a bit, doesn’t it? What does it mean to have no gods besides God? I think this sums it up well: “The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.” [Deuteronomy 6.4] We can be sure of two things: First, we ALL have things in our lives that fight for our allegiances. Second, in the moments when we get it right and love God with our WHOLE heart, there won’t be room for anything else!

Pray peace. Make peace. Live peace.

Katie :)

it’s a new season…it’s a new day :)

Two weekends ago, spring semester ended and I moved home from Bluffton. I did stick around for May Day and Graduation, though, and I'm so glad I did! It was a beautiful weekend filled with friends and laughter and tears and conversation and worship and everything I’ve come to love about the Bluffton community. After graduation, as I stood in the middle of the football field saying goodbye to seniors, friends, and professors, I realized that just six months ago, I didn’t even know that Bluffton existed. But from the moment I stepped on campus, the Bluffton community has welcomed me with open arms and in just six months it has become such a part of me! I am thankful for this spring- it was an unexpected, life-changing, beautiful, unforgettable season in my life…thanks be to God!

But now, it’s a new season…summer is here! I am so excited for everything God has in store for summer 2010! Everyone is asking me, “What are you doing this summer?” and the answer to that question is more of a list than a one-word answer for me. My summer really kicks off in two weeks with West Ohio Annual Conference, where I will serve as a delegate. Conference is always one of the best weeks of my year…this will be my 20th year at Lakeside for Annual Conference and my 4th year as a delegate. It’s an incredible week of fun, fellowship, worship, meetings, politics, and a lot of ice cream…United Methodism at its very best! The rest of June will be spent packing, moving, and settling into a new home, as my family is moving to a new church and new town at the end of June. I’m so excited to settle back into a parsonage, although I never thought I’d say that, and I’m excited to spend time investing in this new church and community! Once we settle into our new home, at the end of July I’m headed to Mexico where I will spend two weeks serving at the Casa de Misericordia UM orphanage. This will be my fourth trip to the Casa…I can’t wait! I will return from Mexico just in time to spend a few more weeks at home and head back to school in the fall! And in addition to the events of my summer, I’m also taking on a few different projects and goals…but I think I’ll save those for another blog! ;)

As you can see, this summer of 2010 is going to be a busy one! I trust that this season, like the last, will be an exciting season of growth and joy in my faith journey!

Pray peace. Make peace. Live peace.

Katie :)

And everything has changed.

It’s finals week here at Bluffton. I am three presentations away from finishing my freshman year of college. I am four days away from moving home for the summer. Tomorrow I have two presentations in Spanish and one presentation to the administration for my Restorative Justice class. I’ll be spending Friday with my friends relaxing and doing all the things we said we wanted to do before summer but haven’t done yet…including, but not limited to, a walk to the Whippy Dip for ice cream and a movie at the Shannon…and maybe a trip to Chipotle. Saturday is May Day, which is a big deal around here from what I’ve gathered. And Sunday is baccalaureate and commencement, which I’m going to since I know (and love!) SO many seniors here. I could be moving home tomorrow when I finish my exams, but I’m sticking around for as long as possible. I’m not ready for my freshman year to be over…I’m not ready for spring semester to be over…and I’m certainly not ready to leave Bluffton! I love this place and the people here SO much!

It’s amazing how much has changed this year. Most of all, it’s amazing how much I have changed. I had an interesting conversation today during a meeting with one of my professors. I’ve been known to call myself crazy for the decisions I make…decisions to push myself harder than most people would choose to…decisions to do my best when good would be more than sufficient…and decisions to follow God and my passions even when that isn’t easy or logical. We were talking about this and about my Bluffton journey so far, and she said something that surprised me; she told me that I’m not crazy...what I am is a very motivated person who is willing to try new things and adjust to God’s leading. The first part didn’t come as a surprise…I’m motivated so much that it can be a weakness sometimes. But the second part, about being willing to try new things and adjust to God’s leading, really struck me. I have always been someone who prefers to make plans and be in control, but God has changed me so much in the past year. This change was evidenced by my professor’s words…she described me in a way I would never have described myself because she sees the person I am today, not the person I used to be. A year ago, my plans were set in stone…and they were impressive plans. But God had other plans…good plans. This year I learned to take risks, trust God, and let go of the plans I had carefully made...and those were not easy lessons! Before that conversation today, I knew that God had taught me new lessons this year. What I didn’t realize was that this year I have done more than learn lessons, I have become a new person in Christ.

Thank You, God, for this amazing place and for incredible professors who recognize who I have become in You even before I do!

"So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!"
-2 Corinthians 5.17

Pray peace. Make peace. Live peace.

Katie :)